101 things every man should know
where clueless men get help
1. paint
oil-based on raw wood exteriors; latex everywhere else. flat on walls, semi-gloss on molding, semi-gloss or high-gloss on kitchen and bathroom walls. For oil-based paints, use bristle bruches and clean up with paint thinner; for latex, use nylon brushes and clean up with warm, slightly soapy water
2. the best and worst bets in Vegas
in the long run, the best game is blackjack-play smart and the house edge is only half a percent, i.e., the casino averages just .50 profit on each $100 bet. Throw in card counting and you can sometimes gain a tiny advantage over the house, at least until they smash your thumbs with a ball peen hanner. Worst bet: slot machines.
3. who painted the poker-playing dogs?
Cassius Marcellus Coolidge (1844-1937). The name of the painting is No Monkeying
4. The best time of the day to buy shoes
Late afternoon, when you feet have swollen to their largest size.
5. how to keep chisels and other bladed tools rust-free
store them in a wooden boxes. The wood absorbs mosture in th air, preventing rust.
6. how to win more coin tosses
always call tails. On U.S coind, the head side, with its big, solid portrait, weighs infinitesimally more; In the course of 10,000 tosses, the lighter tails side will come up an extra 50 times or so.
7. The logic behind mount rushmore
washington- the nation's founding
jefferson- the nation's political philosophy
lincon- the nation's preservation
roosevelt- the nation's expansion and conservation
8. the rolling rock bottle mystery
the mysterious "33" printed on bottles of the Rolling Rock immediatly below the company motto is an accident: It's the proof reader's count of the number of words in the motto, and the printers left it in. The 33 words: Rolling Rock/ from the glass lined tanks of Old Latrobe. We tender this premium beer for your enjoyment, as a tribute to your good taste. Its comes from the mountain springs to you.
9. The little "threads" floating in you eye when you look at the sky are called floaters
They're the remains of the hyaloid artery, which carried blood to you eye when you were still in your mommy's tummy anf which disintegrated shortly after birth. Floaters can be removed by thrusting a sharp stick straight into the center of the eyeball
warning: pain and extreme blindness will result
10. what temperature to serve wine at
Quality reds: 59 celcius
roses, complex whites: 50 celcius
typical whites: 46 celcius
sweet whites, champagne 43 celcius
11. how to let red wine "breathe"
Decant it into glasses; leaving it in the bottle dosen't do jack, let old red breathe for one hour; younger reds need two or three hours.
12. why is the sky blue
Sunlight is scattered, prism style, by particles in the atmosphere, with the blue rays of the spectrum bouncung around the most. The sun appears white at noon and red at sunrise amd sunset because of the horizon, sunlight has to pass sideways through the earth's thin sheet of atmosphere to get to you, thus scattering more of the bouncy blue end of the spectrum and leaving more red rays to get through.
13. how to catch bigger fish
cast your line closer to the bank, the current in the middle of a stream is four times faster than near the bank, and the faster the water, the smaller the fish.
14. Never rub snow on frost bite, put butter on a burn, or try to "cut out" or suck the poison from a snake bite.
All are of the sounds-so-stupid-it-must-be-true school of misguided folk wisdom.
Instead: put frozen extemities in cold water to which you gradually add hot water; clean and carefully bandage burns; and leave snake bites alone, just send for help and stay as still as possible. And try and get some sleep- sounds like you had a rough day.
15. What that wierd metallic taste in your mouth when you chew on aluminum foil is
Electric current. The aluminum reacts with the water and fillings in your mouth to form a tiny battery.
16. why left-handed pitchers are called southpaws
Because their arms point south during games. How so? Baseball diamonds are oriented such as the batters face east so they don't look into the sun during afternoon games. Go ahead, draw it on a napkin.
17. the logic behind the area code numbers
The three-digit codes were assigned back in 1948, when all phones were rotary. To keep traffic lines clear, the quickly dialed low-digit codes were doled out to the most frequently called places: manhattan got 212, L.A 213, Chicago 312, etc. Nowadays push buttons have obliterated this concern, which is why brooklyn's 718 is no problem.
18. how to presevre meat in the wild
Slice your kill into long, thin strips; knead tons of salt into it; then cover the meat(to keep flies off) and let it sit for four hours. spread it out under a hot sun for a few days to dry it, or smoke it over burning green twigs for 24 hours. when dry and shriveled, the meat will last a year and can be eaten right from the jerky bag.
19. how to grow anthrax in you bathroom
yeah, right.
20. the remedy for poison ivy
Baking soda and water. Lather, rinse, repeat.
more coming soon
here are some things that guys, I shouldn't have to tell you
1. if you end up in jail and someone drops the soap don't pick it up
2. dancing lessons are for girls
3. you can have long hair, you can have a mustache, and you can wear a pink shirt, but not all three at the same time.
4. Eggs, corned-beef hash, and tabasco sauce is the breakfast of gods.
5. The Godfather and The Godfather Part 2 were glorious and magnificent; The Godfather Part 3 reeked like a burning house made of chicken sh*t and stuffed with dead dogs.
6. the button fly on your boxer shorts is just for show
7. when smashing a beer can over you head, don't forget to pinch the sides before making contact. Otherwise you'll end up with a "reverse coaster" on your noggin that will outlast the hangover
8. you flip steak one time and one time only!
9. don't help women knock you pals. EVER.
10. In reality, Godzilla would beat King Kong butt six ways to Sunday. No questions, no contest, just a brutal, one-sided hairy ass kicking.
11. protect the testicles
more coming soon
special thanks to maxim magazine
send me your input or anything I left out
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